I

looked at the sun setting over the ocean, transforming the sea into liquid gold.

I sat on the balcony of a shack rooted on Goan sand, and stared into an elusive reality that seemed to want to be mine.

I was happy, but I wasn’t content.

I saw the moonlight manufacturing silver liquid and closing down shop every time a cloud went by.

I was envious of how quickly he recuperated.

I discussed my restlessness with the beautiful person next to me but reached nowhere.

I allowed myself to believe that nowhere could be a subset of somewhere.

I soaked in the energy of the blessed trees that witness the sunset every evening.

I became happier.

I packed my bags and flew home ten days later.

I unpacked my belongings but could not unload the persistent crave for contentment.

I unwittingly wrapped myself in a familiar blanket of daily habits.

I began to think that the feeling I craved would come from not craving it at all.

I tried silencing the background, it remained resilient.

I began to write, secretly at first.

I typed on my iPhone notes, and pretended my fingers were pens.

I liked how some words formed average sentences and some formed spectacular.

I reveled in the control I found I had, over what could be good and what could be bad.

I questioned facts, feelings and fools until I found answers leading to a smaller nowhere.

I had powerful conversations, sometimes even with myself.

I learned, I unlearned.

It was beautiful.

I decided to believe that beautiful could break the barriers to transformation.

I resolved to understand beauty.

I didn’t like what I found.

I wanted to believe that historically great conversations or a record of kind acts or simple stories or dream catchers could dominate the pages of my search engine.

I was led to an ocean of toxins, saturated with ignorance, gimmicks, size 000, marketing strategies, fairness creams, negative thinking and oppressors.

I pitied the ignorant masses and detested the biased influencers.

I wanted to know if my perception was the majority or the minority.

I decided it didn’t matter.

I wanted to drown the toxins, drain the ocean and in its place build a spatially infinite library of beauty from within.

I want to create change.

I want to educate.

I began interviewing inspiring souls.

I learned, I unlearned.

I was captivated.

I was grateful.

I cried.

I became happier; it was maybe even my happiest.

I realized I was wrong.

There had to be a balance. Always.

I am content.

Photograph taken by Ishika Sachdev 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments
  • Shivangi Misra
    June 28, 2016

    beautiful thoughts and motivating also thanks for uploading such amazing words 🙂 🙂

    • Ishika Sachdev
      July 8, 2016

      Thank you Shivangi for your kind words of appreciation! So glad to know that you connected with the piece. Thanks for taking the time out to read it. Wishing you a happy & lovely weekend. Hugs, Ishika

Share your thoughts, beautiful human!